Thank you for leaving..

That isn’t something I’d ever thought I would say.

It has taught me how to be alone.  It’s lonely but it will help me in the long run.

It’s very hard to let go. No one understands the pain but you. Even when you talk to people, they try to help but they just don’t get it. The pain fills up your body like the blood within your veins. Every time your heart pumps, it’s like the pain intensifies.

It’s hard when I only want to talk to you but I can’t even do that. It’s weird sometimes how when my phone vibrates, I always wish it was you. 

I have to remind myself that being alone is okay and I cannot be dependent upon others. Sometimes I don’t want to talk or see people. But this process will teach me to love myself so much more. I am trying to learn how to enjoy my own company.

I never asked to get my heart broken but who actually does ask for that to happen?

You come to terms with the fact that life isn’t a fairy tale and not every story has a happy ending.

Feeling pain isn’t pleasant but it lets me know I’m living. It lets me know that I am not afraid to give my all to someone even if they did not deserve it. It lets me know that I am capable of loving someone with all my heart and now I can learn to give myself the love I so freely give to others.

Getting hurt is an opportunity to remind yourself of how strong you can really be.

Pain doesn’t just have to hurt. It doesn’t have to just be constant suffering.

Being broken can lead to beautiful things.

It is not an easy thing to open up to someone. To tell them everything about you; your dreams, your fears, what makes to happy, what makes you sad. Opening up and exposing your raw self to someone is one of the hardest things to do in the world, but I did it and I am so proud of myself for doing that.

Thank you for hurting me. It is a constant reminder of how strong I am and will continue to be. I was brave enough to open up and always tell you how I felt, even if it hurt. I was brave enough to let you in, knowing what I knew and predicting that there was a chance of a better outcome.

Thank you for reminding me that I am capable of being stronger than I ever was.

Closure..

"We re-open our doors for toxic people and call it seeking closure."

Depending on the person you’ve been dealing with, closure may or may not happen.

Some people will never give you the answers or the validation that you crave, even if you deserve it. They will never express the remorse you long for them to feel. They don’t care. They’re selfish and you have to just let them go.

I remember waiting every day for a message giving me answers to the questions I couldn’t answer. Why did this happen to me? Why don’t you love me? Why are you hurting me? Every night I laid in bed wondering when I’d be able to ask you those questions but the time never came. Eventually I had to figure out the answers to the questions myself. 

Unfortunately this life we live in doesn't come with a manual. It isn't a movie or a book and not everything that begins will get a proper ending. Sometimes you have to create write your own ending and create your own happily ever after with or without them.

They left for a reason, therefore don't re-open the door thinking that things will change or that they will help you finish your story. It is YOUR story, you must decide where it goes from here. Leave closed doors closed and continue to move forward. 

This is who I am..

I’m such a sensitive person; that is both a good and bad thing. I feel everything. I don’t know what gray is. My world is completely black or white. It’s all of nothing. For a while I thought this was honestly one of the worst things about myself but I no longer feel that way... Sometimes when I love people, I wish that it was reciprocated but I know most of the time it won’t be. However, that doesn’t mean that I should stop being who I am. I’ve loved so many people and I’ve put my heart and soul on the line time after time. But time after time I’ve learned; some people you give your heart too just aren’t capable of cherishing it. And of course, it hurts but you CAN get through it, and you WILL. In the end just you come out better and stronger than you were before.