Expiration date.

Some relationships expire and holding on to them past the best-by-date doesn't make them last longer, it just starts making you sick...

When milk goes bad, you don't keep it in the fridge, hoping that it will somehow make itself brand new. It's the same thing with friendships/relationships. Not everything is going to last. Not every person who comes into your life is meant to stay forever. It would be nice if people came with warnings or expirations date like spoiled milk but they don't. All you can do is try to enjoy them while they are around and be willing to let them go when they're time is up. It can be scary to find out you've been wrong about something or someone.. but we can't be afraid to change our minds and accept that things are different and may never be the same, for better or for worse. It isn't always easy and at times you will wonder if you've made the right choice by letting them go, but if they are meant to stay they will eventually come back. 

"What is truly yours would eventually be yours 

and what is not, no matter how hard you try, will never be yours."

And thats just how the world works...

Why wait?

Seems like everyone is always waiting for something;
we wait for the right time to tell someone something,
we wait for the right weather to wear a cute outfit,
we wait all winter for the summer to come again,
we wait all week for friday,
But why?

Why are we always waiting? When is really the perfect time?
What is the right weather? Why is summer so much better than winter? (besides the horrible snow, of course)

Things would be so much better if we didn't wait.

"It's a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you're ready. I have this feeling now that actually no one is ever ready to do anything. There is almost no such thing as ready. There is only now. And you may as well do it now. Generally speaking, now is as good a time as any.”

"it's the wanting you, never getting you, keeps me wanting you.."

I want to love you, but I can't.
I want to touch you, but I can't.
I just want to be the one for you, but I can't...

What is it about unrequited love that we can't resist? We crave things that are so undesirable and may even be toxic for us, yet its all we want. We think about it, we imagine it, maybe even dream about it.. but why? If someone doesn't feel the same, why can't we just face the facts and walk away? Why do we chose to hold on to things that aren't even tangible; empty hope and promises. We hold on to the idea of what could be, the hope of what the future may hold. We make plans for things that may happen, one day but we'll never know.

We are only human so we live and we learn.
We love and we lose.
People come and go, feelings too.
And one day, you'll know when its time to walk away...

Owning it.

The first step in many things is acceptance. You have to own your experiences, good or bad. You have to admit to things if you ever really want to heal and be at peace. 

Stop being afraid to admit that things went wrong.

Admit that you were hurt, admit that they broke you and made you weak. Say it loud and proud.

Don't hide behind your pain and suffering, own it.

Own up to the fact that is it not solely their fault.

Admit that you allowed things to happen and that despite certain signs, you never realized that they weren't good for you.

It's okay to admit that you didn't realize your self worth until you were no longer in the situation.

Admit that now you are so much better without them.

Understand that every single thing is a lesson and in the end,

you are now a stronger, better person.

Unfortunately my parents didn’t stay together. 

But I think the lack of genuine love witnessed, made me crave it more as a young adult. 

I think that’s what fucks me up.. 

I have no clue what true love looks like so I end up settling for less trying to create it.

Sharing your story..

I've been with multiple people who "catch feelings" or think that every s i n g l e thing I have ever written about relates to them. It usually begins with "Is that post about me..!?"

No one ever wants to be spoken about in a bad way, but it will happen regardless. However, once someone does something to you, it becomes yours, so why not OWN IT. Example; you were in a relationship where someone cheated and now you want to write a story about it. The person you're writing about may get upset but honestly what does that matter!? THEY ALREADY CHEATED, it should be obvious that they didn't care about your feelings plus how you choose to express your feelings, is your choice.

Now.. I understand that not every thing needs to be written and shared but thats exactly my point. If someone who treated me badly comes across any of my post, their first thought shouldn't be "wow, she's so hurt, she wrote all of this about me." haha. Because I can guarantee you that its most likely not even about you. I want you to actually read my work and say "wow, she's a great writer and yeah she's been hurt but she turned her pain into power."

Moral of this rant is: Don't ever be afraid to share your story, whether it be good or bad. Our experiences in life make us who we are. Each one of us has our own journey and we have to figure this thing called life out all by ourselves. However, you never know how sharing your story with someone can change their life. Don't be ashamed of your failures, your bad relationships, ugly pictures from the past..

 Let them push you forward;

and 

let you be the best person you could be!

Potential//

There's a quote that goes "I've got a bad habit of becoming infatuated with someone's potential, I become so intrigued by what they initially show me.. that I begin to imagine and visualize the greatness that could come from them. Never once stopping to think that sometimes, people don't live up to their potential".

\The other day I was talking to someone and I mentioned how this happens to me a lot and she also said she could relate as well so I wanted to write more about this.

Potential defined as an adjective is: having or showing the capacity to become or develop into something in the future.
And as a noun it is: latent qualities or abilities that may be developed and lead to future success or usefulness.
  
It's crazy how when we meet someone and as they begin to show us who they are, we can easily become infatuated with what we are shown but that doesn't necessarily mean that is who they are. You know when you have to go to an interview, depending on the location, you dress accordingly.. People do the same when they decide what to show us. We find out things and we automatically fantasize how everything will play out. We begin to plan ahead after only knowing the parts of us that they choose to show us, and based on that, unrealistically, they seem to be perfect.. 

You want so bad for that person to be who you visualize them to be but sometimes it just wont happen. It may happen and you might be one of the lucky one's.. but it might not.. We try rush ahead and create this person in our head who doesn't really exist in real life.. I mean, yeah they exist in some aspect but they don't always live up to the potential we have set for them.

And yes it sucks, it sucks when you see potential in someone and they don't live up to it. But that has nothing to do with YOU. You can't make someone reach their full potential. And your expected potential of them may not necessarily be the same as there's. As humans, there is only so much we can do to aide someone's growth. We can't make them into the person we want them to, it either happens or it doesn't.

Thank you for leaving..

That isn’t something I’d ever thought I would say.

It has taught me how to be alone.  It’s lonely but it will help me in the long run.

It’s very hard to let go. No one understands the pain but you. Even when you talk to people, they try to help but they just don’t get it. The pain fills up your body like the blood within your veins. Every time your heart pumps, it’s like the pain intensifies.

It’s hard when I only want to talk to you but I can’t even do that. It’s weird sometimes how when my phone vibrates, I always wish it was you. 

I have to remind myself that being alone is okay and I cannot be dependent upon others. Sometimes I don’t want to talk or see people. But this process will teach me to love myself so much more. I am trying to learn how to enjoy my own company.

I never asked to get my heart broken but who actually does ask for that to happen?

You come to terms with the fact that life isn’t a fairy tale and not every story has a happy ending.

Feeling pain isn’t pleasant but it lets me know I’m living. It lets me know that I am not afraid to give my all to someone even if they did not deserve it. It lets me know that I am capable of loving someone with all my heart and now I can learn to give myself the love I so freely give to others.

Getting hurt is an opportunity to remind yourself of how strong you can really be.

Pain doesn’t just have to hurt. It doesn’t have to just be constant suffering.

Being broken can lead to beautiful things.

It is not an easy thing to open up to someone. To tell them everything about you; your dreams, your fears, what makes to happy, what makes you sad. Opening up and exposing your raw self to someone is one of the hardest things to do in the world, but I did it and I am so proud of myself for doing that.

Thank you for hurting me. It is a constant reminder of how strong I am and will continue to be. I was brave enough to open up and always tell you how I felt, even if it hurt. I was brave enough to let you in, knowing what I knew and predicting that there was a chance of a better outcome.

Thank you for reminding me that I am capable of being stronger than I ever was.

Closure..

"We re-open our doors for toxic people and call it seeking closure."

Depending on the person you’ve been dealing with, closure may or may not happen.

Some people will never give you the answers or the validation that you crave, even if you deserve it. They will never express the remorse you long for them to feel. They don’t care. They’re selfish and you have to just let them go.

I remember waiting every day for a message giving me answers to the questions I couldn’t answer. Why did this happen to me? Why don’t you love me? Why are you hurting me? Every night I laid in bed wondering when I’d be able to ask you those questions but the time never came. Eventually I had to figure out the answers to the questions myself. 

Unfortunately this life we live in doesn't come with a manual. It isn't a movie or a book and not everything that begins will get a proper ending. Sometimes you have to create write your own ending and create your own happily ever after with or without them.

They left for a reason, therefore don't re-open the door thinking that things will change or that they will help you finish your story. It is YOUR story, you must decide where it goes from here. Leave closed doors closed and continue to move forward. 

This is who I am..

I’m such a sensitive person; that is both a good and bad thing. I feel everything. I don’t know what gray is. My world is completely black or white. It’s all of nothing. For a while I thought this was honestly one of the worst things about myself but I no longer feel that way... Sometimes when I love people, I wish that it was reciprocated but I know most of the time it won’t be. However, that doesn’t mean that I should stop being who I am. I’ve loved so many people and I’ve put my heart and soul on the line time after time. But time after time I’ve learned; some people you give your heart too just aren’t capable of cherishing it. And of course, it hurts but you CAN get through it, and you WILL. In the end just you come out better and stronger than you were before.