The chosen one

As a huge Grey's Anatomy fan, I became obsessed with the idea of being the chosen one.

Like expected, I fell head over heels with Meredith and Derek's perfect love story.

I wanted so bad for the person I loved to pick me, choose me, and love me,

But it isn't always that simple.

The truth is;

the person you want to pick you, can pick someone else.

the person you want to choose, can choose someone else

and the person who you want to love you, can love someone else.

And no matter how awful it may be, it is okay. It has to be okay. Life isn't over just because you didn't get your 'grey's anatomy love story'.

However, instead of dwelling on the fact that you are not the chosen one, take the time to focus on you. 

Pick YOU, 

choose YOU,

and love YOU.

I'm not suggesting you burn off the idea of love entirely, but choose yourself because you matter.

At the end of the day, all you have is yourself. 

Expiration date.

Some relationships expire and holding on to them past the best-by-date doesn't make them last longer, it just starts making you sick...

When milk goes bad, you don't keep it in the fridge, hoping that it will somehow make itself brand new. It's the same thing with friendships/relationships. Not everything is going to last. Not every person who comes into your life is meant to stay forever. It would be nice if people came with warnings or expirations date like spoiled milk but they don't. All you can do is try to enjoy them while they are around and be willing to let them go when they're time is up. It can be scary to find out you've been wrong about something or someone.. but we can't be afraid to change our minds and accept that things are different and may never be the same, for better or for worse. It isn't always easy and at times you will wonder if you've made the right choice by letting them go, but if they are meant to stay they will eventually come back. 

"What is truly yours would eventually be yours 

and what is not, no matter how hard you try, will never be yours."

And thats just how the world works...

Why wait?

Seems like everyone is always waiting for something;
we wait for the right time to tell someone something,
we wait for the right weather to wear a cute outfit,
we wait all winter for the summer to come again,
we wait all week for friday,
But why?

Why are we always waiting? When is really the perfect time?
What is the right weather? Why is summer so much better than winter? (besides the horrible snow, of course)

Things would be so much better if we didn't wait.

"It's a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you're ready. I have this feeling now that actually no one is ever ready to do anything. There is almost no such thing as ready. There is only now. And you may as well do it now. Generally speaking, now is as good a time as any.”

"it's the wanting you, never getting you, keeps me wanting you.."

I want to love you, but I can't.
I want to touch you, but I can't.
I just want to be the one for you, but I can't...

What is it about unrequited love that we can't resist? We crave things that are so undesirable and may even be toxic for us, yet its all we want. We think about it, we imagine it, maybe even dream about it.. but why? If someone doesn't feel the same, why can't we just face the facts and walk away? Why do we chose to hold on to things that aren't even tangible; empty hope and promises. We hold on to the idea of what could be, the hope of what the future may hold. We make plans for things that may happen, one day but we'll never know.

We are only human so we live and we learn.
We love and we lose.
People come and go, feelings too.
And one day, you'll know when its time to walk away...

Owning it.

The first step in many things is acceptance. You have to own your experiences, good or bad. You have to admit to things if you ever really want to heal and be at peace. 

Stop being afraid to admit that things went wrong.

Admit that you were hurt, admit that they broke you and made you weak. Say it loud and proud.

Don't hide behind your pain and suffering, own it.

Own up to the fact that is it not solely their fault.

Admit that you allowed things to happen and that despite certain signs, you never realized that they weren't good for you.

It's okay to admit that you didn't realize your self worth until you were no longer in the situation.

Admit that now you are so much better without them.

Understand that every single thing is a lesson and in the end,

you are now a stronger, better person.

Unfortunately my parents didn’t stay together. 

But I think the lack of genuine love witnessed, made me crave it more as a young adult. 

I think that’s what fucks me up.. 

I have no clue what true love looks like so I end up settling for less trying to create it.

Sharing your story..

I've been with multiple people who "catch feelings" or think that every s i n g l e thing I have ever written about relates to them. It usually begins with "Is that post about me..!?"

No one ever wants to be spoken about in a bad way, but it will happen regardless. However, once someone does something to you, it becomes yours, so why not OWN IT. Example; you were in a relationship where someone cheated and now you want to write a story about it. The person you're writing about may get upset but honestly what does that matter!? THEY ALREADY CHEATED, it should be obvious that they didn't care about your feelings plus how you choose to express your feelings, is your choice.

Now.. I understand that not every thing needs to be written and shared but thats exactly my point. If someone who treated me badly comes across any of my post, their first thought shouldn't be "wow, she's so hurt, she wrote all of this about me." haha. Because I can guarantee you that its most likely not even about you. I want you to actually read my work and say "wow, she's a great writer and yeah she's been hurt but she turned her pain into power."

Moral of this rant is: Don't ever be afraid to share your story, whether it be good or bad. Our experiences in life make us who we are. Each one of us has our own journey and we have to figure this thing called life out all by ourselves. However, you never know how sharing your story with someone can change their life. Don't be ashamed of your failures, your bad relationships, ugly pictures from the past..

 Let them push you forward;

and 

let you be the best person you could be!